Seated around a thrifted, wood kitchen table are ten men of varying ages. At the head of the table, leading the class, is Laura Lefler, who expertly directs the class’s attention to the task at hand, like a veteran schoolteacher.
The ten men are taking a Wellness Recovery and Action Plan (WRAP) course through Reviving Lives Ministries, and Laura is their certified instructor. The course is designed to teach social-emotional skills to cope with stressful situations and to identify the behaviors of healthy living. Each of the men named a few of the things they do to deal with stress and trauma: walking, calling family, watching a feel-good movie, alone time, or even taking a bubble bath.
The WRAP course is just one of the classes that Reviving Lives Ministries in New Bern hosts. The organization hosts anger management, grief counseling and even yoga to the men who enroll.
Known then as Phoenix House, Reviving Lives started in the 1990s with a house for men and women. At some point, the house for women dissolved and began sheltering men. Today, Reviving Lives is looking to re-open its halfway house for women though they’re still hashing out the details.
“This kind of program is wildly successful for men, but we need to tweak it to be different for women,” Executive Director Lainy White said. “Women often come with children, and it’s difficult to seek out a supportive environment if they can’t bring their children.”
White said finding caretakers other than the mother can be difficult, creating a barrier to enrolling in a recovery program. The three-person staff is searching for volunteers with expertise in women’s health or event organizers to build up its women’s program.
To enroll in Reviving Lives, one must complete an application, or be referred. Most enrollees are referred from Dix Crisis Center in Jacksonville or Tommy’s Foundation in Goldsboro.
Reviving Lives currently enrolls 12 men, housed in two homes. They spend roughly a year in the program, but the first 3 months are focused on deep introspection. The men enroll in therapy and intense outpatient work at PORT Human Services. After that, Reviving Lives connects them with NC Works to find employment.
Jacob has been in Reviving Lives’ program for almost a year, and he’s living in one of their halfway houses. He’s recently begun the exit process. Before Reviving Lives, he lived with his grandparents doing remote work.
“Before I was here, I was working in remote sales, and I was taking calls,” he said. "I was shackled to my computer and my phone, drinking alcohol, and I spent every day on that computer upstairs.”
During those first few months with PORT Human Services, the men do not work until they’ve completed their outpatient work. This is a critical period says White, as it forces the men to confront their pasts and work through trauma.
“A lot of our guys come in and want to go 100 miles an hour and get everything accomplished on the first day, and it’s really difficult for people to slow down enough and take care of their own needs and have the time to physically, mentally and spiritually heal,” she said. “It’s the slowing down that is the most difficult.
Since enrolling, Jacob’s taken a 6-week coding boot camp and has been writing code for a prominent tech company for almost a year.
“I’m at that stage of transition where we finished one project and I’m about to get my own,” he said.
Jacob is expecting an email from his employer extending his temporary position to a full-time offer. He said Reviving Lives has allowed him to find success professionally and to better connect with his family.
“Everybody is shocked. I’m shocked about how good life is getting,” he said. “I have the opportunity to be myself and to do a job I’m good at.”
White says the change in the men who go through the program is immense.
“The people that come in the door the first day and three months later, I mean, it’s like somebody turns on a light inside of them and just much more grounded and easier to communicate with.”
Many of the men who enroll seek to become certified peer support specialists, so they can help other people with substance use disorder. White says having support specialists who share the experience of addiction makes the recovery process more engaging and effective.
“These people who seek out this type of training, are the best people to help because only an alcoholic can help another alcoholic. Only an addict can help another addict. It’s because we speak a different language,” she said.
Ultimately, the goal of Reviving Lives Ministries is to transform lives one at a time.
“My philosophy is to that I’m trying to work myself out of a job and just helping the people that come through our doors, you know, we’re helping 12 men at a time. These 12 people go out and help 5, 10, 12, 15 more people, and it just keeps on growing,” she said. “We make our community stronger.”
