“The Alzheimer’s Fantasies" is a new exhibit on display at the Bank of the Arts in New Bern. The exhibition’s artist has spent years on works that he says are a conversation with himself as he cared for his late wife, who died with Alzheimer’s in early February.
“There would be times, especially towards the end, when we didn't converse at all and you know the television is fine, but after a while, even the television is a little boring,” the artist Michael Dorsey said. “So, there would be moments of silence. And I found it therapeutic, actually comfortable in a way, to sit next to her, I would have a drawing board on my lap because she wouldn't let me get too far away from her, and I'd work on these drawings, and it was almost like I was talking to myself.”
Dorsey began working on the exhibition three years ago, around the time his wife Susan began losing her speech. Susan, too, was an artist. She was a ceramicist.
As he worked, he'd show her the drawing, and she'd point at certain details. Dorsey began working on them 3 years ago, around the time she began losing her speech.
“She would comment, not necessarily, on the work itself. She wasn't able to critique at that stage, but she'd like a color or she'd like a shape, or maybe a texture,” Dorsey said.
The exhibition features 30 works and is dedicated to Susan. While sitting beside her, Dorsey would think about his own memories. Most of the works are based on his childhood. Born in the '50s and raised in a small Ohio town, Dorsey combines people and places from his past with historic national events to create chaotic portraits.
Some of the characters have multiple mouths, as to look like they're talking. Many are warped in some way. Realism is not goal. They're memories after all.
“It's very much chaos and movement," Dorsey said. "And to to perhaps justify that all I can say is that I want the eye to move around the work. I don't want it to become too complacent.”
Rich in detail but not so much color, the works leave the viewer both unsettled and curious. A central piece is a work titled “Joseph Beuys Dancing with the Canton Bulldogs.” It draws on when Beuys, a German performance artist, locked himself in a room with a coyote for days. That was in 1974 in New York City.
“I thought to myself, what a great subject because it's almost a perfect metaphor for Alzheimer's," he said.
A metaphor in that the patient is facing a disease without much relief and the caregiver must always be vigilant. Dorsey spent years caring for his wife. He maintained a strict routine, and they hardly ever left the house. In fact, they were inseparable. When Dorsey first began working on the exhibition, he'd go to his studio upstairs and Susan would follow. She couldn't handle stairs too well, so that when he started working beside her.
“Very seldom would I leave her side. Even when she was dying, I would sleep right next to her,” he said.
As you walk into the gallery, on the far wall is a self portrait titled “The Caregiver.” It’s one of the few works to feature Susan. She’s seen floating in the background, while Dorsey, portrayed as a Prussian military general, takes up the foreground. He chose to depict himself that way because he has Germanic ancestry but also because the image of a military officer reflects his approach as a caregiver.
“To be a caregiver, you have to be so organized," he said. "If I can give any advice, it's not to become complacent.”
Complacent. Dorsey used that word a lot. Dorsey did his best to anticipate the disease’s progression, reading whatever he could get his hands on. But even then, he'd catch himself off guard.
“You can fall into this complacency because you're in one stage and you think 'Well, I'm dealing with this. We're actually getting by. We're making it,'" he said. "And then all of a sudden, they're in the next stage and either you don't have the necessary equipment or you're not mentally prepared or you don't have the right clothing.”
Johnathan Berger is the director of the Craven Arts Council, which is hosting the show. He held a reception for Dorsey on opening night in early February. Dorsey is a former ECU professor and a few of his students were there that night.
“A lot of people have commented too that they knew Dorsey from his time as an educator but didn't know that he produced work like this.”
The works are for sale. Dorsey is donating his portion of the proceeds to the North Carolina Alzheimer’s Association. He hopes the exhibit provides a forum for people who are caregivers and that they take away a key message.
“If you can be strong, and if you can just stay in that cage with the coyote. And you may not win. But just be strong and don't let the coyote win.”
"The Alzheimer’s Fantasies" is on display at the Bank of the Arts in Downtown New Bern. On March 16, Dorsey will share more about the art as part of the Craven Arts Council's Little Talk series.
