BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! - the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis, and we are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Tom Bodett and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host at the Mann Center in Philadelphia, Pa., Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. We've arrived at the time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! Bluff The Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!
BRENT CLIFTON: Hey, this is Brent Clifton from Austin, Texas.
SAGAL: How are you, Brent?
CLIFTON: Oh, I'm doing quite well, thank you.
SAGAL: So you're from Austin. Tell me the name of your band.
(LAUGHTER)
CLIFTON: Well-played. Well, it's the Kelley McRae String Band.
SAGAL: There you go.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, Brent, welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Brent's topic?
KURTIS: Can you smell what the Bill is cooking?
SAGAL: Pro wrestling has not been the same ever since Dwayne The Rock Johnson left to pursue his acting career and inevitable 2020 presidential run.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You're like, fine, whatever, The Rock. But we heard a story this week that suggests it's about to get its groove back - professional wrestling. Our panel is going to tell you about the hot new thing in the wrestling circuit. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and Carl Kasell will suplex your voicemail.
CLIFTON: (Laughter).
SAGAL: You ready to play?
CLIFTON: I'm ready.
SAGAL: All right. First, let's hear from Luke Burbank.
LUKE BURBANK: With just 85,000 residents, Andorra is one of the smallest countries in Europe. So it's somewhat ironic that its claim to fame is as the birthplace of one of wrestling's biggest stars - literally and figuratively. You see, Andorra is where Andre Roussimoff was born, also known as Andre the Giant.
And as Andre's international fame grew, so did Andorrans' love for all things wrestling. In fact, pro wrestling has become the national sport with Andorran wrestling federation matches regularly drawing in 90 percent of the country's TV viewers. The other 10 percent are watching "The Bachelor" for reasons even scientists don't fully understand.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: So great is Andorrans' love for wrestling that, last week, they used it as a way to pick their new prime minister. You see, neither Antoni Marti or Gilbert Sunye had enough votes in parliament to win the job outright. So a ring was set up in the parliamentary gym, and the two squared off.
It was a wild match. At one point, Marti had Sunye pinned, but the referee wasn't looking. He was distracted by the nation's finance minister, the beautiful Desdemona. Eventually, though, Marti was able to prevail after he got Sunye in a figure-four leg-lock. The arc of wrestling is long, said the very sweaty new prime minister, but it bends towards justice.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The tiny nation-state of Andorra selects its prime minister in a pro-wrestling match. Your next story of an innovation in wrestling comes from Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: In a bid to attract young families visiting the Orlando area, the Central Florida Wrestling Association just launched fairy-tale fights, matches with storybook characters rumbling with their rivals. Cinderella, of course, stomps her evil step sisters with crystal slippers, while the three little pigs prevail against the wolf who taunts them by eating bacon. Quote, "little girls love to see princesses and cute animals kick butt," promoter Bill Hayes told the Orlando Sentinel. Once I got the idea, everything fell into place. This being Florida, Disney has threatened to sue, but all the historical, fairy-tale characters predate the theme park and are in the public domain. Next up, Hayes is working on live puppies and kittens match-up he's calling Paws Versus Claws.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Fairy-tale characters in the square circle in central Florida. And your last story of a new move in wrestling comes from Tom Bodett.
TOM BODETT: In the good-v.-evil universe of professional wrestling, the villains are as famous as the heroes, known by millions of Americans, though nobody listening to this broadcast. Traditional wrestling villains do evil things like drink blood or pledge allegiance to the devil. The newest dark lord joining this pantheon of ghouls praises not the devil but Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, or as they say in Kentucky, same thing. Progressive Liberal, the nom de guerre of Dan Richards, the nom de guerre de guerre of Daniel Harnsberger, has become the most hated man in the Appalachian Mountain Wrestling Organization. The six-foot-five-inch Progressive Liberal stalks into the ring with the Democratic donkey on his shorts and Hillary Clinton all over his shirt. He inflames the crowd with insults and lectures. I understand now why you all identify with country music. It's slow, and it's simple, and it's boring, just like each and every one of you.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: He'll even go so far as to correct their grammar. Do you live in a holler? No, you live in a hollow. Crowds yell at him to shut up and pat pistols on their hips. Pro wrestlers all have a signature finishing move, such as Mustafa Ali's reverse 450 or Randy the Savage's elbow drop. Dan Richards's deadly kill shot is called the liberal agenda. All fear it. None survive it. Seriously, though, we don't know what it is, and it never seems to finish anything. And you thought big-time wrestling was fake.
SAGAL: All right. So here are your choices.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Let's say you, like many fine people that are a fan of professional wrestling - you could attend one of these matches - from Luke Burbank in Andorra, a match that actually determined who shall be the next prime minister of that tiny country, from Roxanne Roberts, a wrestling ring in Florida where you can see Snow White duke it out with the Evil Queen, or from Tom Bodett in the Appalachian circuit, a heel, as they say in the pro-wrestling circuit, named Progressive Liberal. Which of these is the real pro-wrestling story?
CLIFTON: Well, I want it to be A. Let's go with C.
SAGAL: OK, so you preferred the Andorran prime minister but...
BURBANK: Me too.
SAGAL: ...You're going to go with Tom's story of the wrestling villain known as the Progressive Liberal.
SAGAL: I also want it to be that one, yes.
SAGAL: All right. Well, we actually spoke to one of the guys in the ring himself.
DAN HARNSBERGER: The Progressive Liberal is a left-leaning democrat and is unapologetic about his views.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: That was the wrestler known in the Appalachian wrestling circuit as the Progressive Liberal. When he's not in costume, his name is Daniel Harnsberger. Congratulations, you got it right.
(APPLAUSE)
CLIFTON: Thank you.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: You earned a point for Tom Bodett, and you have won our prize. It's not a belt. It's Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. Congratulations.
CLIFTON: Thank you very much.
SAGAL: Bye bye.
(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.