BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Why run with the bulls when you run with the Bill? Bill Kurtis.
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KURTIS: And here is your host, at the Straz Center for the Performing Arts in Tampa, Fla., Peter Sagal.
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, everybody and thank you, Bill. It's great to be back in Tampa, especially today, because we are going to be talking to best-selling Florida writer Randy Wayne White. He's a hugely successful author, traveled the world, written books. He owns restaurants throughout the Gulf Coast area. And despite all of that success and fame, I will probably still call him Wandy (ph) Wayne White.
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SAGAL: So prepare yourselves. Give me a chance to mangle your name as well. Give us a call the number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. Yes, it's Wandy Wayne White on WAIT WAIT.
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SAGAL: It's time to welcome our first listener contestant.
Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
CAITLIN BARRITT: Hi, this is Caitlin Barritt. I'm calling from Boulder, Colo.
SAGAL: Hey, how are things in beautiful Boulder?
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BARRITT: It's beautiful.
SAGAL: It is beautiful. I know - what do you do there? Something Boulder-y, I hope.
BARRITT: I'm a physical therapist.
SAGAL: Yeah, and you're - now, this is Boulder so do you actually use their - work on their bodies or just their chakras?
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BARRITT: I do their bodies, yeah.
SAGAL: That's good. That's good.
FAITH SALIE: Then she rolls their joints for them.
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SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Caitlin. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a comedian who will be performing at the San Jose Improv on October 13 through the 16. It's Alonzo Bodden.
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ALONZO BODDEN: Hello, Caitlin.
SAGAL: Next, a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning whose new book is called "Approval Junkie," it's Faith Salie.
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SALIE: Hey, Caitlin.
SAGAL: And lastly, it's Tom Bodett. He's a humorist and storyteller who will be hosting The Moth Mainstage, 19 Years and 180 Days: Stories of the Vietnam Era, October 13 at The Players in New York City. It's been a while since I said his name. It's Tom Bodett.
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TOM BODETT: Hi, Caitlin.
BARRITT: Hi, Tom.
SAGAL: So, Caitlin, your job, as I'm sure you anticipated, is going to be play Who's Bill This Time.
Bill Kurtis, standing to my right, is going to perform for you three quotations from the week's news. Your job - correctly identify or explain just two of them. I bet you know what will happen if you succeed. You will get Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
BARRITT: I'm ready.
SAGAL: All right, here is your first quote.
KURTIS: Wow, did great in the debate polls, except for CNN, which I don't watch.
SALIE: (Laughter).
KURTIS: Thank you. Thank you.
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SAGAL: That was somebody celebrating his, quote, "victory" on Monday night - who was it?
BARRITT: The first answer is always Donald Trump.
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SAGAL: The first answer is pretty much always Donald Trump.
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SAGAL: More people tuned into the first presidential debate Monday night than for any televised debate ever. And they thought Americans could not be brought together. Everybody tuned in like it was the finale of a popular series - the series known as our country.
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SAGAL: Now because Hillary is Hillary, she prepared for the debate for months. She memorized attack lines to use like, quote, "Trumped-up trickle down economics," unquote. It's not great. It's not great, but it's better than her first version, which was Trump's up, ho's down.
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BODDEN: Are you sure it's better?
SAGAL: I'm pretty sure it's better. But because Donald is Donald, he did not prepare at all. Everybody said all he needed to do to win this debate was just hold it together for 90 minutes, and he couldn't do it. He could not keep a lid on it. It is a problem - now to be fair...
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SAGAL: ...It is a problem for a lot of us older gentlemen. I bet he has to wake up eight times in the middle of the night to yell about Mexicans.
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BODDEN: Well, Peter, if you think his numbers were bad at CNN, you should have seen him over at BET.
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BODDEN: That whole stop and frisk thing is just a hard sell...
SAGAL: Oh, I bet.
BODDEN: ...If you know what I mean.
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SAGAL: So we've been dealing with the aftermath of the debate this week, and everybody is wondering what Donald Trump will do differently the next time. And it's going to be strange because the next presidential debate is a town hall-style debate, with the candidates being questioned in real time by real people. Now Hillary Clinton has been boring people to death on policy since kindergarten...
SALIE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: ...So this is not a problem. You know, Betsy, the juice box really only has 10 percent juice.
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SAGAL: And for Mr. Trump, he'll be fine. He takes questions from real, working people all the time, like - hey, Mr. Trump, why haven't you paid me yet?
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SALIE: And his answer - and his answer is because I'm smart.
BODETT: He's smart. But that's good business.
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SAGAL: The amazing thing is - so everybody says, the polls and, you know, all the pundits saying, Donald Trump did terribly. And his reaction to that was to say no, I didn't. I won. I won. I did great. I didn't sniffle, even though we heard you sniffle. I didn't say the things you all heard me say. And after a while, you have to admire this. This, ladies and gentlemen, is optimism.
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SAGAL: Think how much happier we would be if we had his gift for optimism. Hey, I didn't crash my car. I just parked it really, really hard.
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SALIE: And on November 9, I guess that means that no matter what happens, he's gonna tell us all he's president.
SAGAL: Probably.
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SAGAL: All right. Very good, Caitlin. Here is your next quote.
KURTIS: You inspire the crap out of us.
SAGAL: That was somebody reacting to tycoon Elon Musk's newly unveiled plan to send a bunch of us where?
BARRITT: To Mars.
SAGAL: To Mars, yes.
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SAGAL: That's exactly right.
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SAGAL: Elon Musk, the guy who brought us cool, expensive, electric cars that only sometimes catch fire or drive into things by themselves, now wants to send us all to Mars. And by all, I am only exaggerating a little bit. He says we will need to get a million people to Mars in order to make it a self-sustaining colony. Well, it's really half a million. The other people are backup in case the food supply runs low.
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BODETT: What is the - why does the million make it self-sustaining? Is it, like, are they eating each other? Is this, like, a "Donner Pass" strategy?
SAGAL: That's what you never know, man. Apparently - but that's what he says. He's figured it all out. Don't worry. Now, right now, he says it would cost about $10 billion just to get one person to Mars. But he says he can bring that down to about $400,000 a person - how? Coupons.
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BODETT: You know, it's a great destination place now. It's unusual and exotic for sure. But, you know, and in even 20, 30 years, you know, go to a place where you can't breathe the atmosphere and nothing will really grow. I mean, why go there? I mean...
SAGAL: Just stay here. We'll get there pretty soon.
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BODETT: I mean, you could just - I mean, even now you could just drive to Nevada, you know.
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SAGAL: All right, Caitlin, here is your last quote.
KURTIS: It's a controversial boy.
KURTIS: That was the headline on cnn.com about a healthy baby born this week that unlike, just about every other baby ever born, this baby has three what?
BARRITT: Parents.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed, three parents.
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SAGAL: A baby was born in Mexico this week with three genetic parents, two women and a man. It's a complicated, controversial technique - involves the splicing of egg cells in the lab. So somewhere there is a guy saying, this scenario is not nearly as exciting as I was led to believe it would be.
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SAGAL: It's a technique that allows the mother, in this case, to avoid certain genetic problems, so great. But the kid is going to be dealing with three parents. Hey, Dad, can I go to that party? No, ask your mom or your other mom.
BODETT: Right. Well, most kids have to wait till they're 7 or 8 and their parents divorce before they get that...
SAGAL: That's true.
BODETT: ...And remarried before they get that experience.
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BODDEN: Oddly enough, a lot of kids in Utah are doing that right now.
SAGAL: That's true.
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SAGAL: Bill, how did Caitlin do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Hard to believe but she got three in a row. Very good, Caitlin.
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SAGAL: Well done, Caitlin. Thanks so much for playing.
BARRITT: Thank you. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.