BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Greg Proops, Roxanne Roberts and Tom Bodett. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Right now it is time for the WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME Bluff The Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on their.
Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.
KYLE TAYLOR: Hi, Peter. This is Kyle Taylor calling.
SAGAL: Hi, Kyle. Where are you calling from?
TAYLOR: I'm calling from Aspen, Colo.
SAGAL: Oh, what you do in that beautiful Aspen?
TAYLOR: I'm a driver's ed instructor.
SAGAL: Oh, wow. Now I have been to Aspen. I love Aspen. It's very beautifl. But it's very expensive. And I thought that normal people can't afford to actually live there.
TAYLOR: That's kind of true. I'm not normal.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Oh, I see.
TAYLOR: We've got a nice little place right outside of town that we live in.
SAGAL: OK, good for you. Well, nice to have you with us, Kyle. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kyle's topic?
KURTIS: Welcome to my Super Sweet 16.
SAGAL: Your teenage years are a time of many milestones - prom, your first kiss, your own car, having grandkids, if you're from West Virginia.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But this week...
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SAGAL: But this week, our panelists are going to tell you about a classic adolescent rite of passage that really went spectacularly wrong. Guess the true story and you will win Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. Ready to go?
TAYLOR: I guess so.
SAGAL: All right. First let's hear from Mr. Tom Bodett.
TOM BODETT: Things happen when you're a teen student driver, as you know, Kyle Taylor. You try to do everything right - approach intersections cautiously, check both directions, check again. And still you somehow overlook the column of British Challenger II tanks barreling down the road. In defense of the young woman this happened to in Germany on Monday, the Challenger II tank is a mere 14 feet wide, 45 feet long, weighs 65 tons, sports a 120 millimeter cannon and there were only a bunch of them.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: She and her five and a half foot wide, 13 foot long, one ton Toyota Yaris, with the 60/40 split front seats, should have been clearly visible to the 24-year-old tank commander, and there may be an investigation into whether he had been distracted by the other guys in the tank or even texting at the time of the incident.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: In his defense, the soldier did spot the Yaris entering the roadway, but being at the controls of a machine designed to careen headlong into hostile territory at speeds up to 40 miles per hour, the time to come to a complete stop within an assured clear distance as required by law appears to be about a tank's length beyond the woman's car. Luckily, no one was harmed in the accident, though the Yaris did suffer 12,000 Euros worth of damage - or roughly the price of a Yaris.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Girl goes out for a driving test and promptly gets run over by a tank.
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SAGAL: Your next story of a teen dream turned nightmare comes from Greg Proops.
GREG PROOPS: High schoolers, Kathy Dinkins and Brad Wonomaker of Eagle Bend Okla., ran into some bummers on the way to the junior prom. Brad had borrowed his dad's truck, and after he picked up Kathy, he noticed flashing light in his rearview mirror. It seems his dad's truck matched the description of a local biker gang leader and wanted felon. When the deputies realized he wasn't the suspect they were after, they offered the couple a ride to the prom. But just then, the real suspect's truck appeared and they had to hang on for dear life as the deputy made chase. They eventually caught him, and they dropped the couple near the school on their way to the police station.
Brad and Kathy decided to take a shortcut to the high school along some back roads. According to the Tulsa paper, a wild boar then appeared and began to chase them. Kathy broker heal and Brad had the idea to throw it at the boar. The boar caught Brad and tore his tux pants off. Finally, the boar became weary and the bedraggled couple made their way to the high school - barefoot, pantless, muddy and wet.
The couple entered the auditorium at the moment the prom Queen was being crowned. Kathy Dinkins was part of the royal court and was invited to the stage. The platform gave way, dumping the entire retinue onto a pile of wrestling mats stored underneath. In a panic, Brad leapt into the fray to save Kathy and ended up on top of the prom Queen - one Heather Foley - in his underwear. A picture was snapped and ended up on the front page of the local paper. Brad asked Kathy to marry him, figuring after that night of trauma they could weather anything.
(LAUGHTER)
PROOPS: Kathy said no, she wants to study premed at Oregon State.
(LAUGHTER)
PROOPS: No report on how the boar faired.
SAGAL: The junior prom from hell.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Your last story of a rite of passage that's definitely not right comes from Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Twin brothers Daniel and Eric Johnson - two graduating seniors at the Wayne Methodist Christian Academy in Nebraska, came up with what they thought was an epic senior prank - putting geese in their tiny, one-room schoolhouse. So late on a Sunday two weeks ago, the brothers borrowed seven geese from a nearby petting zoo and locked them in the school. Unfortunately, they didn't realize the birds were Platte River flat footed geese, a cranky and endangered species covered by the Wildlife Protection Act of 1972.
When headmaster Mark Hanson arrived at the school Monday morning, the geese were so aggressive, he was unable to get through the door. And when Animal Control was called, they quickly realized that no one was allowed to move the geese without permission from the Department of Interior, which is still investigating the case.
The students have been forced to finish the semester in a rented trailer next to the school. And finals have been canceled because the tests are still in the teacher's desks protected by the geese. So at least someone is happy.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Which of these is the real story of a rite of passage for teenager's gone pear shaped? Is it from Tom Bodett, a driving test which was interrupted by a tank? From Greg Proops, truly the junior prom date - well, that did not go very well? Or from Roxanne Roberts, how a typical senior prank closed down the whole school 'cause they can't get the endangered geese out of the schoolhouse? Which of these is the real story that we found in this week's news?
TAYLOR: I think I've got to go with Roxanne and the geese.
SAGAL: You're going to go with Roxanne's very unusual, but ultimately compelling story about the geese.
TAYLOR: I'm thinking about it.
(LAUGHTER)
TAYLOR: And I'm still thinking about it.
SAGAL: All right.
TAYLOR: I think I'm going to - I think I'll stick with the geese.
SAGAL: You're going to stick with the geese?
TAYLOR: I'm going to stick with the geese.
SAGAL: All right. Well, we actually - to prove that this really happened, we can bring you now part of a news report about this actual incident.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
UNIDENTIFIED REPORTER: In a battle between 62 tons of armor and a hatchback, unsurprisingly, the tank was unscathed.
SAGAL: That was a report from the Independent newspaper, obviously their video report, in the UK about the tank taking out the student driver's car in Germany. OK, so you didn't win. On the other hand, you got a point for Roxanne for her, I think really wonderfully amusing story. And lastly, you can be thankful that in your driver's ed classes, this has never happened.
(LAUGHTER)
TAYLOR: Well, hopefully the military stays away from us.
SAGAL: I think so. Anyway, thank you so much for playing.
TAYLOR: All right, thank you. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.