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Panel Round Two

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Peter Grosz, Jessi Klein and Mike Birbiglia. And here again is your host at the Brooklyn Academy of Music in Brooklyn, N.Y., Peter Sagal.

SAGAL: Thank you, Bill Kurtis.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill reveals his favorite New York skyscraper, the Crhymesler Building. That hurt me too. It's in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you guys from the week's news.

Peter, according to the Internet, the new look for men, the one that women crave is what?

PETER GROSZ: It is heavy, balding and insensitive to their feelings. No.

SAGAL: You're actually almost right.

GROSZ: Is it just heavy?

SAGAL: Yeah, it's - well, sort of looking like what?

GROSZ: Jerry Garcia.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah, I'll give you a hint. When that guy takes off his shirt, the only six-pack I want to see is a six-pack of juice boxes.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Juice boxes? Looking like a baby?

SAGAL: No. Who often carries around juice boxes?

GROSZ: Children?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Juice delivery men. A dad?

SAGAL: Yes, dad.

GROSZ: Looking like a dad?

SAGAL: Looking like a dad, specifically, the dad bod. The dad bod is the best news for men since we found out we get to run everything.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to a column by college sophomore, Mackenzie Pearson, that went viral this week, everybody was talking about it, the new, attractive body type for men is the dad bod. According to her, this is a look that says, quote, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekend and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time."

(LAUGHTER)

MIKE BIRBIGLIA: This was written by a college sophomore?

SAGAL: This was written by a 19-year-old woman...

BIRBIGLIA: With issues.

SAGAL: Her theory, which is a great theory...

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: I love the way dads look.

BIRBIGLIA: Oh no.

JESSI KLEIN: She's like, the new look that's in that women love is my dad's body.

SAGAL: Well.

KLEIN: What's up, lady?

BIRBIGLIA: Oh, Mackenzie.

SAGAL: Well, she has a number of reasons. The idea is that women she posits do not like the chiseled, you know, muscular, fit look so much as they like the more comfortable dad look.

BIRBIGLIA: I've been saying this for years.

SAGAL: And it's true.

BIRBIGLIA: For years I've been telling women this, and they don't listen.

SAGAL: It's terrible.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: I do think the body you described is generally just a man body.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: Like, childless, with child, like someone who works out sometimes.

SAGAL: That's exactly it.

KLEIN: ...And then drinks sounds like pretty much my observation across the board.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: Up to this point in my life.

SAGAL: And the message for all those men is you don't have to feel bad 'cause that's what women really like.

KLEIN: I don't know if I'd say really like.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Peter, a television station in Albuquerque, N.M., has raised the alarm. There's a terrifying secret to men's beards. What is it?

BIRBIGLIA: They don't look good.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRBIGLIA: I don't know. I may have a hint?

SAGAL: Everybody's going to be running out to buy just for men sanitizer.

BIRBIGLIA: Just for men san - oh, the beards are bacteria-ridden.

SAGAL: Yes. They're filled with poop germs.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to the investigative news team.

BIRBIGLIA: How does that happen?

SAGAL: No, this is according to the investigative news team at KOAT, News 7 in Albuquerque. They swabbed some beards, right? And then they saw what grew from them in Petri dishes. And according to them, beards are basically hairy face toilets.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Well, I'll just say that now you know why we're happy to just get a dad body.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: And not a fecal beard on top of it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So Jessi, McDonald's is updating the Hamburglar. Now, instead of a cartoonish thief, he is what?

KLEIN: I saw the picture.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: And to me, he looks like an actual criminal - like a hardened criminal.

SAGAL: A hardened criminal.

KLEIN: Like someone you should genuinely be afraid of.

SAGAL: Right. You're not - you're saying he's not so much a burglar as sort of a home invader?

KLEIN: He looks - it looks like there might be a home invasion.

SAGAL: I understand. No, actually the answer is he's a suburban dad. See, the thing is...

KLEIN: No, no, no. He does not look like a suburban dad.

GROSZ: Wait, that's what it is? Suburban dad.

SAGAL: Yeah. The answer is suburban dad. Let me explain. So the Hamburglar has not been seen in a McDonald's commercial for 13 years.

GROSZ: 'Cause he was in jail.

SAGAL: Well, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRBIGLIA: And he's out on DNA evidence now.

SAGAL: No, it turns out....

BIRBIGLIA: The most recent Serial podcast got him out. That's what next season's Serial is going to be.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That would be so funny.

KLEIN: Sarah Koenig.

SAGAL: And next year's Serial will be like, hi, I'm Sarah Koenig. This week on Serial, the Hamburglar. And then you hear robble, robble, robble.

GROSZ: You have a call from the McDonald Land Penitentiary.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: The fact that everybody got that is ridiculous.

KLEIN: You know who has a dad body?

SAGAL: Who?

KLEIN: Grimace.

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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